Hebrews 12:1-2 - Endure

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge cloud of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the Champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting Him, He endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now He is seated in the place of honor beside God's throne." 

(Hebrews 12:1-2 NLT)

Hello, Mrs. Kurtz.
     Thank you for taking the time to answer my questions. The verses and references you listed were very helpful, but I still need some clarification.
     It wasn't really that I felt bad about the ticket alone, but rather, it made me think about the other areas in which I knowingly sin because it is easier than doing what is right. Your point #5, as well as your reference to Hebrews 3 in my area of main concern. I haven't moved on from my sin or "weak spots" because it's something I don't want to give up. Is that something that could cost me my salvation?
     Isn't part of being a Christian about surrendering ALL of yourself and ALL of your ways? It's not a "pick and choose" deal. I can't only let God into some parts of my life and not others (Luke 9:23-24). If I'm only conditionally following God when it is easy to do so, and only in some parts of my life, am I really following Him at all? Then, what happens in periods of turning away (#4)? Does God call everyone back to Him?
     I've seen a lot of progress in my attitude about life since I've accepted Christ. I have really been working on making changes, yet there are changes I avoid because I "don't want to".  Is this something that will change as I grow closer to God, or will it prevent me from growing closer to Him?
     I'm trying to come to terms with it all and figure everything out. Thank you so much for your time and patience with me. 

Dear friend,
     I don't want to make light of your concerns, yet I want you to know that you bring me great joy by the questions that you ask! I rejoice that you care, that you want to know and to grow, and that you do not take salvation lightly. Entering into a relationship with the Almighty God should never be done flippantly. At the same time, I hurt with and for you, hearing and feeling your uneasiness. Let's continue to visit this question as we study.
     You are right; we are called to surrender all of ourselves to God, and this is a terrifying thought! What if we can't? or won't? or just don't want to? or don't trust Him enough? What if He takes away all that we cherish, continually asking for more? This is a commitment not to be entered into with little thought. Yet, surrender is only fearful if you do not trust the One to Whom you are surrendering.
     In another email, you wrote about a related topic: "The word 'submit' is a little scary to me. One group of people having control over another based on something like gender is concerning. This power can, and often is, easily abused."
     You are so right! And, my friend, the words "surrender" and "submit" carry the same weight: we release control and place ourselves fully into the care of another. Wow! God designed marriage. It is good. It works when we honor Him by whom we choose to marry, and how we live out our marriage. It is probably the most important earthly decision you will make in your life (your decision to follow the Lord is obviously the most important of all). If you marry a man of God, God's man for you, you have nothing to fear. You will love and trust and honor this man, and it will be his greatest joy to love, protect, defend, and care for you his entire life. Choose carefully!
     God calls us to surrender, to submit, to Him. We can, because we know His character. He is good. He is holy. He is faithful. Let's look at a passage with a call to total surrender:

"Someone came to Jesus with this question: 'Teacher, what good deed must I do to have eternal life?'

'Why ask Me about what is good?' Jesus replied. 'There is only One who is good. But to answer your question--if you want to receive eternal life, keep the commandments.'

'Which ones?' the man asked.

And Jesus replied, 'You must not murder. You must not commit adultery. You must not steal. You must not testify falsely. Honor your father and mother. Love your neighbor as yourself.'

'I've obeyed all these commandments,' the young man replied. 'What else must I do?'

Jesus told him, 'If you want to be perfect, go and sell all your possessions and give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.'

But when the young man heard this, he went away sad, for he had many possessions.

Then Jesus said to His disciples, 'I tell you the truth, it is very hard for a rich person to enter the Kingdom of Heaven. I'll say it again--it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the Kingdom of God!'

The disciples were astounded. 'Then who in the world can be saved?' they asked.

Jesus looked at them intently and said, 'Humanly speaking, it is impossible. But with God everything is possible.'

Then Peter said to Him, 'We've given up everything to follow You. What will we get?'

Jesus replied, 'I assure you that when the world is made new and the Son of Man sits upon His glorious throne, you who have been my followers will also sit on twelve thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel. And evereyone who has given up houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or property, for My sake, will receive a hundred times as much in return and will inherit eternal life. But many who are the greatest now will be least important then, and those who seem least important now will be the greatest then." (Matthew 19:16-30)

• Why did Jesus tell the man to sell everything, give it to the poor, and follow Him? What did Jesus know about the man? Will everyone struggle with the same issue?
• How do Peter's words contrast? Why do you think Peter (and the other disciples) had such a different response to Jesus' call? 
• What is Jesus calling you to surrender to/for Him? Do you want Him, trust Him, love Him enough to surrender it to Him?

     You may hear of the term "crisis of sanctification". That term confused me for a long time, because to me it sounded like I had to be in the midst of a "crisis" (tragic accident, death of a loved one, etc.). But the "crisis" is the decision:

Will I surrender all of me to the Lord? 

Will I kneel and submit to His Lordship in my life? 

Will I relinquish control of the future? 

Do I want Jesus more than I want ANYTHING ELSE? 

     God wants all of us, but it is not a malevolent, manipulative control. He wants to fill us, to dwell in us. What He wants is for our GOOD. Unfortunately (and this is always what gets me), it does not guarantee a happy, pain-free life. Again, I am faced with a decision: Do I trust God fully?
     As this is getting long, I'm going to end here for now, with a promise to come back and adress your questions about willfully holding onto our sins. But, I'm putting below several links. I'd love for you to spend some time with these external resources. Know that I am praying for you.

• Here's a short passage by A.W. Tozer that he wrote about Surrender.
• We've discussed Corrie Ten Boom's quote about asking God to make her willing to be made willing. Here's a related story that she told. The link takes you to a page with lots of subtopics. When you use this link, use the search option (CTRL F) to find the section "Total Surrender". I didn't read the other subtopics to see what they had to say. <Note: I gave you her story, The Hiding Place; you can read more about her struggle with surrender/submission there.>
• This link has the lyrics for the hymn, "I Surrender All". 
• This hymn, "Himself," sings of the joy of knowing Jesus.
• I know you're familiar with the story The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis. In his Narnia series, Lewis did a spectacular job of explaining spiritual truths simply and clearly. Below is a quote from the book. Can you see how it relates to our struggle to surrender?

  

Heavenly Father, we hear the words "surrender" and "submit," and we shiver with fear and repulsion. We want our own way! Yet, Lord, we know that You alone are good. You alone are worthy. Your ways are right. We are willing, yet we are weak. Will You enable us to walk in Your way, to surrender to You in absolute trust and love? Without You we cannot.